Toller’s Skating Was a Catalyst in My life

Growing up in a small village in rural Nova Scotia wasn’t always easy for me. I was a flamboyant, gay 13-year-old who didn’t have many friends and was more interested in playing with my sister’s Barbie dolls than she was. I discovered figure skating when I was thirteen years old. The sport was booming after the whole Tonya/Nancy affair and on any given weekend, there was a new handful of professional competitions, shows and specials.

And so, my first exposure to the sport wasn’t the amateur world of “double-trouble quadruple jumps” (as Belita once put it), but the magic and creativity of interpreting music. I marvelled at the versatile Liz Manley, and the unique Anita Hartshorn and Frank Sweiding. But I was transfixed by a then infrequently-seen skater who moved like nobody else, Toller Cranston. I had never seen anyone move like him before, nor have I since.

There was something grand about him that commanded attention and respect. After a couple years of watching, I got it in my head that I was going to skate—like Toller. The first couple years must have been quite comical. I had the arm movements down but I wasn’t exactly a quick learner. I was in group lessons with kids half my age and, perhaps, not knowing what to do with me, I was cast as Jack Frost in my first ice show.

I could barely do a Waltz jump and I favoured one leg very badly. I think if you asked anyone at the time, they would have agreed that I just wasn’t going to ‘get it.’ I was surprised as anyone when it all clicked. I learned axels, flying camel spins, and double jumps, but I was more interested in hydro-blading and creating unusual shapes and programs than I was in whirling around. I won four medals at the Provincial Championships in the artistic/interpretive categories that Ellen Burka helped imagine.

I made wonderful memories of doing just what I dreamed of—interpreting music on the ice. I did some judging, then left the sport entirely for ten years to lip sync to other people’s songs in drag shows. When that got really old, I decided to come backto the sport, sharing my love of skating through Skate Guard Blog, my blog on figure skatinghistory. I think of Toller’s skating as a catalyst in my life. Had I not been exposed to an art so unusual and special, had I not had someone like him I wanted to emulate—I don’t think I ever would have had the courage to skate—or to command attention and respect in other aspects of my life.